Three Sacred Ballers

The Three Sacred Ballers are a trifecta of the greatest basketball stars from throughout time, who have been reborn in the future. They are recognized as sages of the game, holding all the secrets of the orange orb in their minds. They are quite strong, but due to their devotion to peace, they are not as strong as the Rob Squad or Weed Patrol members. They trained Podrick in the past, helping him realize his baller potential. They play on the hallowed golden court, in the center of the sun, only able to be accessed by those who believe. They are the most skillful, physically flawless, handsomest, and pure-hearted b-ballers ever, and even are rumored to know the chaos dunk, the greatest b-ball technique ever, though they would never use it for fear of killing innocents.

Shin Charles Barkley
The leader of the group, Barkley represents slams and jams working in conjuction, creating a kind of nirvana. He is said to be the wisest being alive, and is a scholar of The Based God. His spirit ball is called QCD, from which all slam jam remixes are said to originate. He has seen all the sadness of the world, but uses that knowledge to grant happiness to all he encounters. His touch is said to cure autism, a disease of the mind.

Super Shaq
Super Shaq represents slams, and is a master of dunks and free throws. His ball is called Shaq Fu, and is said to burn and disintegrate any hoop through which it passes. He is the handsomest being alive, the closest a man will ever get to looking as The Based God does. His touch cures aids, a disease of the body.

Larry Bird Requiem
LBR represents jams, with a perfect defense that even Super Shaq can barely get past, if at all. His dribbles and passes are the envy of the other two, and he moves too quick for the human eye. His spirit ball has been dubbed the four-pointer, and is said to be the engine that incites good sportsmanship in all ballers. He is the kindest of all beings, and weeps constantly for those who suffer in the world. When the pope met him, he quit immediately because even he confessed that LBR is the most saintly soul in the universe. His touch is said to cure cancer, a disease of the soul, even though he cannot cure the space cancer bestowed upon those containing The Based God's power.